The Long, Sad Saga of Not Playing KOTOR (2009)

The Long, Sad Saga of Not Playing KOTOR

Tagged As:

folk cheese geekery starwars jedipop

Liner Notes:

A couple of days before FAWM 2009, I got a really bad cold, and wanted to do nothing but curl up with blankets and soup and KOTOR. Really, really craving a good game of Pazaak, some ship-to-ship fights... Star Wars sound effects... blaster and lightsaber battles...

Lyrics:

Going to play KOTOR and going to play with blasters, oooh
Going to play KOTOR and going to play with lightsabers too
Gee this is really crashing and giving weird errors
What the hell is going on?

I found the discs and couldn't find the serial
Couldn't find the serial
Couldn't find the serial
For the life of me

I finally realized that KOTOR doesn't have one
KOTOR doesn't have one
KOTOR doesn't have one
Gosh I feel silly

Going to play KOTOR and going to play with blasters, oooh
Going to play KOTOR and going to play with lightsabers too
Gee this is really crashing and the videos are half untextured
What the hell is going on?

I thought it was my DVD drive going all to hell
But then I found the error of my ways
KOTOR was coded in the golden olden days
Long before dual cpu - and we've got quadcores now!

My ancient dinosoar, still won't play my KOTOR
Because my computer's got two cores

So to avoid all the hassle, I uninstalled
And went to install on the laptop
Which is even older and has only one processor

Going to play KOTOR and going to play with blasters, oooh
Going to play KOTOR and going to play with lightsabers too -
But the second install disc is corrupt!
SINCE I INSTALLED IT LAST NIGHT!

WTF WTF WTF!
WTF WTF WTF!

I already uninstalled it from the desktop
So I couldn't just copy the files over and edit the registry
And my friend who also owns it was babysitting and couldn't bring it over
So now, to play my game
I've got to PIRATE A GAME I ALREADY BOUGHT!
I'm going to PIRATE A GAME I ALREADY BOUGHT!

Going to play KOTOR and going to play with blasters, oooh
Going to play KOTOR and going to play with lightsabers too
Going to play KOTOR and going to play with blasters, oooh
Going to play KOTOR WOOOHOOOO!

Candy Crush Is Crushing Me (2015)

FAWM 2015

Candy Crush Is Crushing Me (26 - Lyrics - Feb 28)

2015-03-01 @ 04:49am
tags: chiptune needs-collab needs-music geek lyrics-only

AAAAAAAAAARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Lyrics

So depressed
Down in despair
Is this an owl
Or an owlbear

I've pulled so many miracle moves
Out of my ass
Yet somehow I lose
YOU SHALL NOT PASS

Candy Crush is crushing me
Can't you see, it's driving me crazy-y-y-y-y-y-y-i
Candy Crush is crushing me
Candy Crush is crushing me

This level is nuts
This isn't candy
I need a new distraction
Game's way too demanding

I've pulled so many miracle moves
Out of my ass
Yet somehow I lose
YOU SHALL NOT PASS

Candy Crush is crushing me
Can't you see, it's driving me crazy-y-y-y-y-y-y-i
Candy Crush is crushing me
Candy Crush is crushing me

All I know is it's been over a month
And I can't progress
It's reminding me too much of real life
This doesn't make sense

Candy Crush is crushing me
Can't you see, it's driving me crazy-y-y-y-y-y-y-i
Candy Crush is crushing me
Candy Crush is crushing me

Every time I make a good move I lose
This owl is out to get me
Candy Crush is crushing me
Candy Crush is crushing me

I've pulled so many miracle moves
Out of my ass
Yet somehow I lose
YOU SHALL NOT PASS

Candy Crush is crushing me
Can't you see, it's driving me crazy-y-y-y-y-y-y-i
Candy Crush is crushing me
Candy Crush is crushing me

Candy Crush is crushing me
Can't you see, it's driving me crazy-y-y-y-y-y-y-i
Candy Crush is crushing me
Candy Crush is crushing me

Candy Crush is crushing me
Candy Crush is crushing me

Me And My Chocolate (2015)

FAWM 2015 (Swear Warning)

Me And My Chocolate (09 - Lyrics - Feb 10)

2015-02-10 @ 12:50pm
tags:
Truffles omg.

I think this needs a rap about awesome chocolate varieties just before the singing part of the bridge.

Yes I said fuck. DEAL WITH IT.

Lyrics

Don't get
In my way right now
I'll crush you like a bug
Believe me
When I say I can't
Be stopped even with a hug

I might just love you
But honey you know it's true

I'll kill you if you
Get between me and my chocolate
Sweetheart just don't try
Just don't get between me and my chocolate
I don't wanna see you die

Right now
You must understand
I'm hormonal as fuck
Believe me
If you don't feed me
You'll be clear outta luck

I might just love you
But honey you know it's true

I'll kill you if you
Get between me and my chocolate
Sweetheart just don't try
Just don't get between me and my chocolate
I don't wanna see you die

Dark, swirly, heaven melting on my tongue
Just eat one pound a month and I feel forever young

I might just love you
But honey you know it's true

I'll kill you if you
Get between me and my chocolate
Sweetheart just don't try
Just don't get between me and my chocolate
I don't wanna see you die
I don't wanna see you die
No, I don't wanna see you die

Cookies (I Wanna Be A Jedi) - (2015)

FAWM 2015

Cookies (I Wanna Be A Jedi) - (04 - Lyrics - Feb 05)

2015-02-05 @ 06:26am
tags: geeky dorky star wars geekpop

Cookies need no introduction.

Lyrics

Why does the dark side get everything cool
Red lightsabers, black leather and the signature mysterious cloak
Black forest cakes and cookies to make us all drool
Makes the light side look like a joke...

Well...

Someday
I'm gonna bake light side cookies
To make the dark side pay!

(Vengeance leads to the dark side, my young apprentice)

...Oh yeah

Someday
I'm gonna bake light side cookies
To make the people say

I wanna be a Jedi for their cookies
Nobody died to bring me these delicious delights
Almost makes up for the lack of romantic nights
I wanna be a Jedi for their cookies

Well, does the light side get anything cool?
Sure we've got lightsabers - any colour that's not red
(My apprentice, we're the good side, stop playing the fool
The dark side just makes people dead)

Someday
I'm gonna bake light side cookies
Force the dark side to obey

(Aggression leads to the dark side, my young apprentice)

...Oh yeah

Someday
I'm gonna bake light side cookies
For everyone to say

I wanna be a Jedi for their cookies
Nobody died to bring me these delicious delights
Almost makes up for the lack of romantic nights
I wanna be a Jedi for their cookies

(We're welcomed in all coordinates across the galaxies
And there's only once or twice been dark side wookiies
One other thing besides
The cookies are a lie
You think pure evil wouldn't do misleading advertising?!)
The dark side doesn't have cookies?
What do they feed their students - pie? I like pie...

(You don't like pie made from the other students, my young apprentice)

...Oh yeah

(Someday
You're gonna bake light side cookies
And everyone will say)

Aww

I wanna be a Jedi for their cookies
Nobody died to bring me these delicious delights
Almost makes up for the lack of romantic nights
I wanna be a Jedi for their cookies