Kirrivath: Challenges

Love Song

2018-02-26 @ 01:33pm
tags: antivalentine jazz piano girl-with-piano
Oh hey, no chorus! Finally hit one of the extra challenges this FAWM. Woot woot!

Lyrics

You probably thought
This would be a love song
I know you thought
That I still care
I cared about you
When you were a child
It's a long time
Since then

You probably thought
This would be a love song
Although you
Treated me wrong
I loved you once
But the man you became
Is a stranger
To his own soul

You probably thought
This would be a love song
Oh no
And adulations of a crowd
Can never fill
That emptiness inside
Your heart
Only you
Can love yourself
I know you don't
I know you don't

Comments

Martin Quibell - 2018-02-26 @ 03:16pm
Great writing Chagall :-) I love the fact that each verse starts the same, which reflects a feeling of having to repeat the same thing all of the time, when youâ€™re constantly reminding people of something. Beautifully flowing!
mojosarmy - 2018-02-26 @ 08:17pm
Love it. I agree, that is one of my favorite motifs, and you use it well here.
Lady C - 2018-02-27 @ 07:00am
Love how this has no chorus! The flow is great and words are so on point! Just fab! ðŸ’™

Tinder

Chagall
FAWM 2016

Liner Notes

Hmm. Interesting.

Lyrics

Every day I feel pain I remember nothing's the same
Every breath too much stress you've made it all a mess

Are you a demon?
Dark eyes
Dark hair
A ready smile
Takes my air

You may as well be agent orange
Or iron and a match
Cause I'm dying inside
A fact you didn't catch

You may as well be kryptonite
Or flint and tinder
Cause I'm going up in flames
A sanctified sinner

It was nothing to you but who am I stained with rue
It was true love to me but it seems I must be free

Are you a demon?
Your hands
Your touch
Awkward laugh
Means too much

You may as well be kryptonite
Or flint and tinder
Cause I'm going up in flames
A sanctified sinner

You may as well be agent orange
Or iron and a match
Cause I'm dying inside
A fact you didn't catch

Or did you

Gotta stay strong
Gotta stay strong
Stay alive stay alive
Don't ask you to
Stay

Comments

@metalfoot 2 weeks

Powerful lyrical effect to these words. Curious to see what sort of musical magic you might make!
@electrocelte 3 weeks

Nice... wrote a song called "Lady is Kryptonite"... it's out there...somewhere...
@jessica14 3 weeks

Very intensense and beautiful lyrics! Would be great to put this to music... Great job!
@marvsmooth 3 weeks

I think there are bits of a few heroes in here!
@kirrivath 3 weeks

Gonna pull a Taylor Swift and not say who this is about. Maybe more than one guy. Just to confuse things. ^-^ @popmythology
@popmythology 3 weeks

Great lyrics! Because of the title, at first I thought this song was somehow related to that Tinder dating app, lol. It's definitely a bit abstract as a superhero song, as you were saying, but I can see how a former significant other (if I'm right that that's what this is about) could have been a kind of kryptonite to your Supergirl.
@cts 3 weeks

I've read this a few times and I kept trying to determine if there was a specific super hero you were alluding to. I thought it might be the Ghost Rider, but after read #4, it became clear to me this write is much bigger than that. Great work here!
@marvsmooth 3 weeks

Ooh, I really like the writing here so much.

There is a definite rhythm to the writing here, and I really want to hear this set to music.

Fabulous writing!
@ladycarolynhyde 3 weeks

Wow girl, love the depth of the lyrics, and, to me at least, the imagery of you as a superhero and the possible thought processes they think, the feelings they feel because they have such an important and often thankless job. Totally captures what it's like. Can also hear ominous music but with a shred of hope stitched through it because of this passage "gotta stay strong gotta stay strong, stay alive stay alive, don't ask you to stay." that is so powerful. love the duality. great job!
@nadia 3 weeks

wow, i want to hear this with music! you have some really great imagery here and i love your repetition of "you may as well be..." great effort--now put it to some rocking music!!!
@nancyrost 3 weeksreport abuse

"Sanctified sinner" is a wonderful alliterative paradox, very catchy. I can hear the rhythm in these words, and it rocks.